Journey of a Tech Nin
by BloodyKangaroo
Summary: What do you get when a bored inventor princess takes an interest in a failure with a need for every advantage he can get. Aside from chaos, anarchy, and many explosions. Well we'll just have to find out.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer I do not own Naruto or To love ru.

A.N.

All Naruto character's post time skip ages.

* * *

A boy with spiky blond hair, Uzumaki Naruto, sat in a bath steaming bath staring at a wall a depressed look on his face. He had just gotten home after ramen with Iruka and his up was done. Now all he had was the looming graduation exam, the clone jutsu. The only one of the academy three he couldn't do. Well now how to deal with that. He couldn't exactly master the clone jutsu in a night. He hadn't managed to learn it in years.

As he started to get ready to get out of the bath the water in front of him rose up and he stared in shock as it fell back and he saw a head of pink hair. It was followed by a naked cute girl. Naruto simply stared at busty wet girl in his bath who seemed to not be reacting in the least while stretching her arms and declaring. "Escape successful."

Naruto stared petrified and disbelieving at the girl in front of him. She looked down and smiled while tilting her head and said in a bright cheery tone. "Hello."

"Um Hi." Naruto said hesitantly.

She casually got out of his tub and Naruto watched as she searched around for a few seconds. Then without warning she bent over

She sprung up and turned around asking. "Can use this towel?"

She saw him lying back his head pointed at the ceiling with his face bright red and stream of crimson flowing from his nose and heard him mumble. "Sha…shaven."

She tilted her head and looked confused. "Did the steam get thicker?"

Naruto shook his head and looked at the girl again. She smiled back at him. He simply smiled with his closed and said. "Okay clearly I've been in the bath to long and the heat's gone to my head."

"Huh?" the girl asked.

"And obviously now I'm seeing and hearing things." Naruto said cheerfully as he got out of the bath and wrapped a towel around his waist.

The girl looked at him confused before saying. "Um I'm really here."

"That's nice." Naruto said draining his tub.

Naruto walked out of the room and started to dress himself , orange pants and a black t shirt, as the towel clad girl watched him. When he finished he looked back. Naruto looked at the girl who smiled at him.

"Hi I'm Lala." She said cheerfully. "Who are you?"

"Okay it's talking to me." Naruto said nervously. "That can't be a good sign."

She got annoyed and said. "I'm not a hallucination."

"Right." Naruto said sarcastically. "Prove it then."

Lala got right up against him and he fell back onto the floor with her pinching his cheeks and pulling the both out smiling. Naruto now convinced that the girl was real was also now rapidly becoming aware of the wet, large breasted girl in only a towel lying on top of him. His face turned dark red and steam started rising off his for head. The fact that she was distracted by pulling on his cheeks and giggling seemed to mean she wasn't going to get off any time soon.

"The whiskers feel funny." She giggled stopped pinching his cheeks and changed to rubbing her cheek against his.

Naruto started to sweat and pushed her back lightly asking. "Uh could you get off of me?"

Lala simply smiled and nodded while standing up asked. "So do you believe me now?"

Naruto started to answer, and then Lala's towel fell to the ground. His head hit the ground and almost lost consciousness. Lala panicked and lunged for the blond to make sure he was okay. This only made the situation worse. She shook him by the shoulders and he wound up seeing her unrestrained breasts bouncing up and down. By the time she stopped he was bright red, his eyes had rolled up into the back of his head and he was losing enough blood out of his nose to fill a small pool. Thinking fast she plugged his nose as best she could and tossed him in the only bed in the room.

A short time later Naruto sprung up shouting. "Wha?"

He stared forward and said in a relived tone. "Oh just a dream."

"What was a dream?" asked Lala's voice.

He turned slowly to see she was next to him looking nervously at him an inch from his face. He sprung back in surprise and collided with the wall. Holding his head she checked to see if she was okay. He looked up nervously at her. To his relief she had apparently found his store of jackets because she was wearing one.

After calming down Naruto asked. "Okay, Lala right?"

She nodded while smiling cheerfully.

"Lala what are you doing in my apartment?" Naruto stopped and remembered how she appeared. "No wait back it up. How did you appear in my tub?"

Lala smiled and held up a wrist with a silver bracelet and enthusiastically cheered. "I used this, Pyon Pyon Warp kun!"

Naruto stared at the pink haired girl's wrist. "Huh cool. Wait why were you naked and why my bath?"

"Pyon Pyon Warp kun transports the user somewhere random and can't transport cloths." Lala said.

"Why would… you … use?" Naruto started before trailing off and saying. "Tail?"

A long black tail with a spade head was waving around behind Lala that Naruto didn't notice before. Then again he had something else distracting his attention at the time.

"Why do you have a tail?" Naruto asked pointing dumbly.

"Because I'm, well I guess to you I'd be an alien." Lala said. "I'm from the planet Deviluke."

It took Naruto several seconds to get what she was saying. Several more were needed for him to figure out how to respond.

"You're an alien?" Naruto asked.

Lala giggled and nodded. Before Naruto could think of anything else to say something tapped on a window. He looked around before remembering where his window was to find what looked like a toddler in a suit with tiny bat wings except its head was simply a white sphere with a pair of spirals for eyes. Lala flung the window opened and greeted the flying thing.

"Peke!" The pink hair alien cheered.

"Lala sama." The tiny thing answered. The thing looked around before focusing on Naruto for a moment. Turning back to Lala the thing asked. "Lala sama who is this human."

"That's … What was your name?" Lala asked looking at him apologetically.

"Uzumaki Naruto." The blond answered still in a bit of a daze.

"Right he lives here." Lala said and then without warning tossed aside Naruto's jacket. The small white thing started wrapping around her and Naruto watched holding both hands in front of his face with his fingers held apart.

Peke turned into some kind of weird skin tight white outfit and a hat that looked like a giant version of its head. Naruto stared at it in a mix of awe and confusion. Lala looked down at him with amusement.

"What just happened?" Naruto asked and then pointed at the hat asking. "And who are you?"

"I am Peke an all-purpose costume robot designed by Lala sama?" The hat answered.

Naruto stared at the robot with barely concealed amazement. He was about to ask how that worked when he shook his head rapidly back and forth. "Okay now what were you escaping from?"

Lala looked at him nervously. Naruto stared back at her. The alien flinched and turned away. This only caused Naruto's gaze to intensify. The pinkette started shifting around worried about how the blond would respond to her answer.

Lala finally caved and shouted. "I ran away from home!"

"Why?" Naruto asked.

As the pink haired girl was about to answer two shadow's rushed in through the open window. Two figures in suits and sunglasses with tails stood on opposite sides of Lala.

"Princess come with us." One member of the duo with a goatee and a scar over his left eye said.

Lala glared and slowly said. "Peke."

"Yes Lala sama?" The robot asked nervously.

"Didn't I tell you to make sure you weren't followed." The princess said angrily.

"Yes Lala sama." Peke replied in a resigned tone.

Lala started waving her fists about her head shouting. "You stupid robot!"

Around this point Naruto's mind had finished registering that two yakuza looking goons had broken into his room and that one of them had called Lala "princess". He slipped out of that in time to realize that both of them were closing in on his uninvited guest.

Just as the other thug, this one with slicked down black hair reached for Lala he was hit over the head with a kettle. Naruto grabbed Lala's hand and pulled while jumping out the window landing hard on the ground. He shuddered for a second before running down the street pulling Lala behind him.

"Who were those guys?" Naruto asked running as fast as his he could while pulling.

"Those were papa's guards." Lala replied.

Naruto nodded and ducked around a corner into a trash covered alley with several metal trash cans and a large dumpster and a large fire escape.

The two suited thugs came around the corner to the alley to find it was empty. They moved slowly down coming up to the first can the goateed member of the duo grabbed the lid. He nodded to his partner and counted to three before pulling the lid off quickly and finding nothing inside. They closed the can and moved on to the next. Another count and pulled the lid away and… nothing again. The next one they didn't even count just pulled the lid up and found it was empty.

"Damn it!" the black haired one of the duo complained.

The goateed one shook his head and pointed at the dumpster without a word. The other nodded and walked slowly towards the dumpster and yanked the lid open to find only a bunch of garbage bags. The rooted around in the trash for several minutes.

"There not here." The goateed man said. "It's a dead end so they must have gone up."

The other nodded and they dashed back and quickly climbed the fire escape and dashed off over the roofs. A muffled poof came from inside the dumpster and Naruto opened the top and peaked out. When he was sure the coast was clear he slipped out and looked around once he was sure the coast was clear. He pulled reached into a pile of garbage bags near the entrance of the alley and pulled out Lala.

"I think there gone now let's go find a hiding place." Naruto said. _"Now where can we go? Experience has taught me to avoid my apartment since they'll probably just go back there when they can't find us." _

Naruto rubbed his chin and looked around catching a glimpse of a mountain with four heads carved into it. He smirked and grabbed Lala pulling her along and ran through the streets pulling her.

"Where are we going?" Lala asked.

"You'll see." Naruto said before stopping and pulling her in front of him. He scooped her up into a bridal carry and leapt from roof to roof. He landed gently on top of the second head form the right on the monument. He set Lala down and asked. "So why did you run away?"

"Um." Lala sat trying to think of where to start. "My papa is king of the Devilukian Empire."

Naruto nodded.

"And because whoever marries me is the heir he's been having me go to marriage meetings to pick my husband." Lala said.

"Well that doesn't sound too bad." Naruto said.

"You'd think but the only people interested are power hungry, greedy, or simply after Lala sama's body." Peke interrupted.

"Ah that explains it." Naruto said. He sat holding his chin with his face scrunched up in thought. After a minute he held up a finger but shook his head rapidly and put it down. He held up a finger again and Lala got interested but then he waved his hands back and forth.

After he did it three more times Peke shouted at him. "Just say something already!"

"Well I was gonna say that marrying someone would solve it but you already said all the choices suck." Naruto said.

"There they are!" Shouted a voice.

Naruto turned around to find the two thugs coming after them again. "How did they find us?"

Naruto grabbed Lala's arm and jumped down. He dashed down the street with the princess in tow. He turned every corner he could find but the two pursuers close behind. The blond glared in annoyance as he started kicking over trash cans and anything else he could find to delay the suits.

The duo escaped into a park and Naruto looked around the room rapidly. All he could find were trees, bushes, and a bench and he heard the goons approaching rapidly.

The duo of suit wearing aliens burst around the corner and found only a green clad old man sitting on a bench.

"Hey mister did you see a young woman with long pink hair and all white clothes run by here with some blond boy?" The black haired one asked.

The old man looked up and said. "Why yes I believe I did."

Old timer pointed to the side opposite the other two came from and said. "They went that away sonny."

"Thanks!" the other one said running rapidly away.

As soon as the two were out of sight the old guy suddenly released a cloud of smoke and a popping sound. Lala popped out of the bushes and looked at them running off.

"Okay and now we." Naruto was interrupted by tree spearing the ground in front of him. "Mother of shit!"

"You didn't really think that we'd fall for that twice did you?" The goateed lackey said cockily.

"Well I was hoping." Naruto said turning back. _"Okay I don't think we're escaping time for plan b."_

Naruto ran screaming at the two guys with his fist pulled back. He swung at the black haired goon's head. The goon leaned back and then delivered a swift jab to the stomach sent Naruto flying through the air and the tree that had been thrown earlier. Naruto stood up with some difficulty.

"That the best you got?" Naruto asked in the most arrogant tone he could manage. _"Crap my legs feel like rubber, I'm pretty sure he cracked a rib, and I think my spleen is now a liquid." _

Naruto cocked back a fist and the goons prepared to rush him. Lala stepped between them with some folding handheld device pointed at the sky. The two goons looked worried while Naruto stood confused.

Lala pushed a button and a massive mechanical octopus appeared. "Go Go Vacuum kun."

Naruto stared at the thing as it began sucking air in. The two goons were slowly pulled towards the robot as the force of the intake slowly increased. The goons were pulled off the ground and pulled up into the machine which just kept going pulling rocks and such out of the ground.

Naruto turned to Lala and pointed to the octobot and asked. "Um can you turn that thing off?"

"Okay." Lala said in a cheerful tone that worried Naruto. She looked at the machine while holding a finger to her chin. "Now how do I turn it off again?"

Naruto and Peke asked in unison in identical tones of disbelief. "You don't know?"

"I haven't used it in a while." Lala replied.

As she stood thinking Naruto watched terrified as the thing grew the more it sucked in. Suddenly everything fell as the vacuum was blocked by a large piece of concrete that must have been knocked loose by the tree.

"Oh crap!"Naruto shouted pulling Lala in close and putting himself between the robot and the girl. The Go Go Vacuum kun exploded and Naruto took several pieces of shrapnel to the back.

Naruto looked at the girl he was holding and asked. "You okay."

Lala nodded. The duo looked back at the damage and Naruto twitched. The sounds of people coming from several directions caught Naruto's attention. He scooped up Lala and jumped away as fast as he could through the trees. Once he thought he was a safe distance from the park he set Lala down.

"Okay well that should keep them busy for a while." Naruto answered. "Now back to that marriage problem."

"It's not a problem anymore." Lala replied.

"Huh?" was the answer Naruto's rapier wit gave.

"I decided I'm going to marry you!" Lala proclaimed hugging him tightly.

Naruto sat petrified in a mixture of shock and pain. "Wait. What?"

Lala smiled at him. "Well it was your idea. If I get married I won't have to go through any more meetings."

Naruto simply sat stunned. He had no idea how to deal with this. "But you barely know me!"

"I know you're kinder than any other candidate." Lala answered cheerfully. "You've done a lot more for me in a night than of any of the candidates papa found have put together."

"_Crap! Think fast Uzumaki."_ Naruto thought. "This village is dangerous!"

"I'm used to it." Lala said nuzzling his whisker marks again. "Hehe they tickle."

"_Damn it Naruto your losing. Oh wait I know."_ Naruto's tone became very solemn as he said. "I'm happy but I already like some one else."

"No problem." Lala said. "I don't mind sharing."

_"Awesome! I… mean … crap in a basket. Aww who am I kidding? I mean awesome!"_ Naruto thought as he sat for what was possibly the first time in his life simply speechless.

Down at the source of the blast staring at the damage, an old man in red and white robes, a man in all blue except for a green flak jacket, and several people in black body suits with short swords strapped to their backs shuddered as though some fundamental law of the universe had just been violated.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer I don't own Naruto or To love Ru.

* * *

The first thing Naruto noticed when he woke up was that he was holding something warm and about his size. The second thing he noticed was that whatever it was had to massive, soft, round parts pressed against his chest. He slowly opened his eyes to find a head of pink hair.

"Wha?" Naruto mumbled. He pulled the blanket down and found Lala curled up against him with one of his arms and a leg both wrapped around her. Something else seemed off but he couldn't place it in his half asleep state. He sat up and the blanket came with him and he found out what.

Naruto leapt backwards through the air. "Waaaaaaahhhhhhh!"

"Mmmmm." Lala moaned getting up and rubbing her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Why are you naked?" He asked catching his breath.

Lala looked at him and Peke who had been lying between them sat up. Lala giggled and said. "Peke can't be in dress form all the time."

Naruto looked at her with a blank expression. "Anyway I have to go somewhere today so remember to stay here."

"What why?" Lala asked.

"Because I have a test." Naruto said.

"On what?" Asked Lala.

"On the clone jutsu." Naruto replied walking over to rifle through the cupboard for some ramen.

"You can clone yourself?" Lala asked excited. "Can I see?"

Naruto looked away with a frown. "I'm not that good at it."

"Oh come on?" Lala asked pleading giving him the puppy dog eyes.

Naruto sighed and scratched his head. With a shrug he put his hands together with the index and middle fingers pointed up. A streak of blue flashed, then another, then another soon Naruto was surrounded by a dome of blue streaking lights. Cloud of smoke flooded the apartment. Lala coughed and waved her hand in front of her face and coughing lightly.

When the smoke cleared there was Naruto standing looking disappointed down at a faded out sickly looking Naruto. Lala looked down at it and nervously turned back to Naruto.

"Well um…" She said. "It's nice."

Naruto curled up in a corner and hung his head while drawing circles in the dust. Lala patted him on the back gently. Lala turned over to the failed clone which Peke was trying and failing to poke. The princess thought about how to cheer him up.

Suddenly Lala hopped up and said. "I know."

Naruto and Peke turned to her as she pulled her flip device out of… somewhere and hit several buttons. As she finished a small bat looking device came out of nowhere. She whispered to it and the thing nodded before flying over to Naruto and hovering a short distance in front of him. It opened its mouth and red vertical strip of light ran over Naruto three times. It flew behind him and repeated the process.

"Lala what is that thing?" Naruto asked.

"You'll see." She answered as the thing stuck to the ceiling.

To Naruto's amazement a copy of him was standing in front of him. He edged closer and looked at it with curiosity as he stuck his hand in it. It went through and he leapt back checking his hand.

"What is that thing?!" Naruto asked pointing at the tiny bat creature on his ceiling.

"That's Flap Flap Hologram kun!" Lala said. "It can scan any one and then make holographic copies of them."

"Why do you have something like that?" Naruto asked.

"I used to use it to sneak around and pull pranks." Lala answered giggling.

Naruto stared at the bat for a second then, at the copy. He promptly curled up in the corner again.

Lala freaked out. "What's wrong?"

"Can't even beat a toy." Naruto mumbled.

Lala watched as Naruto simply started drawing circles in the dust. Lala patted him on the back as she tried to think of a solution.

"I know. Why don't you take it?" Lala asked.

Naruto turned back and looked up at her.

"If you tell it to it can make copies of you." Lala said. "Then it won't matter if you can't do it yourself."

"Err thanks but if I can't do it myself it's pointless." Naruto said. He stood up and looked proud. "I'm going to be the Hokage. I can't make it as that if I can't even graduate right."

Lala looked at him with a small amount of awe. Naruto gave a cocky smirk for about half a second before.

"What's a Hokage?" Lala asked.

Naruto face faulted before saying. "Right you're not from earth."

He caught a sideways glance at the clock and shout up and out the door yelling. "I'll tell you later gonna be late!"

Lala looked around in thought as Peke finally got around to turning into her dress form. Lala looked at the roof to tell her batbot to come back and noticed it wasn't there. She looked around the room and found. "Where did Hologram kun go?"

Naruto dashed from roof to roof when he suddenly heard a cheeping sound from behind. He stopped cold and looked over his shoulder. There was nothing there and he turned back to start off only for the sound to start up again and he felt something move on his back. Naruto reached around back and pulled off the batbot Lala had shown him.

"What are you doing here?" Naruto asked.

The robot cheeped a few times and nuzzled his cheek.

"You wanna come with me?" Naruto asked petting it on the head.

It nodded vigorously and cheeped.

"Well I suppose keeping you around won't hurt as long as I don't actually use you." Naruto said scratching his head.

The bathing cheeped in joy.

"Alright Flap Flap." Naruto started but couldn't remember the longer word. "Know what I'm gonna call you Kou chan."

The newly dubbed Kou chan cheeped.

Naruto nodded and unzipped the jacket and let the robobat attach itself to the inside and leapt off towards the academy. The blond creeped up to the front door and looked through the door.

"Yes Iruka isn't here yet." Naruto whispered.

"I see." Said a voice behind the blond.

Naruto turned slowly and saw a tanned man with a tactical vest and a scar across his nose. "Hey Iruka sensei."

"Naruto you of all people should know better than to be late on the graduation exam." Iruka lectured.

"Sorry my alarm clock died last night." Naruto lied scratching his head.

Iruka sighed and said. "Just get in the room."

Naruto nodded rapidly and opened the door rushing in and grabbing a seat. Iruka slowly walked into the room and held up a clip board.

"I'll call you to the room one at a time." Iruka said. With that said he called the first student.

Naruto sat in the back patently as he could for the first three but as the fourth came out without a head band he thought back to the clone he tried to make that morning. He slowly became more and more panicked as the list got closer and closer to him.

"Uchiha Sasuke." Iruka shouted from inside the room.

"_That's it. I'm next, three failures in a row." _Naruto thought quaking in his seat. _"Why didn't I actually come to class?"_

"Uzumaki Naruto." Iruka shouted as Sasuke walked out of the room with a new head band.

Naruto rose up slowly and walked towards the door. He stepped into a small open room with a table at one end with Iruka and a white haired man in identical clothes except he hand a bandana in place of the head band. Iruka raised his head from the clip board.

"Alright Naruto just make two working clones." Iruka said.

Naruto formed a ram seal and focused. Much like that morning he formed a dome and an explosion of smoke formed. When the smoke cleared Naruto looked disappointed to the side and saw exactly what he expected. A colorless life less clone but right next to it was a leg with orange pants. Naruto looked up to find a copy of him standing there. He turned slowly to the other side and saw another copy standing there as well.

Iruka scratched his head as he looked at the two perfect copies and the one failed. "Huh I don't actually the rule on this one."

Mizuki spoke up. "Well he did make two clones."

"Well I guess that's true." Iruka said. "Alright Naruto you pass."

Naruto simply nodded numbly and took a head band off the table walking slowly out.

He stepped out and as he sat down felt something land lightly on his back and his eyes widened in realization. He glared down at the head band annoyed. He had wanted to earn or lose it himself. He went to stand up.

"_Wait what am I going to say?"_ Naruto thought. _"If I tell Iruka even if he believes me he is still gonna ask where I got it." _

Naruto thought about what would happen if someone discovered Lala. Even he was aware that somehow revealing an alien could be a bad idea. He stopped and sat back down ready to wait out at least till the end of the day where he could bring it up with Iruka. He'd keep it a secret.

That failed when Iruka simply left to turn in the paper work before Naruto could get to him. The blond walked out of the room and began the slow trek home, ignoring the parents that muttered surprise that he was actually allowed to graduate. When he made it to the roofs and sat down on a bench Kou cheeped.

Naruto patted the tiny machine after all no point in blaming it for doing its job. As he looked up he caught a glimpse of Mizuki talking to the one the students who failed. The student was a girl slightly taller than Naruto with short black hair in a green shirt and blue pants.

Naruto crept forward and strained his ears trying to overhear them. "Emi did you know there's a make-up exam?"

The girl looked up hopefully.

"All you have to do is sneak into the Hokage's office and steal the scroll of sealing and learn one technique off of it." Mizuki said.

Naruto sat and listened to the white haired chuunin as he explained exactly where it was and how to get in. He followed right up to where Mizuki told her to go. Naruto snuck away after the duo left.

Naruto arrived home and found Lala in the kitchen with a cloud of smoke coming out of a pot. Naruto stared at the pillar of smoke.

"What happened here?" Naruto asked.

"I was trying to make dinner." Lala said looking sadly at the pot.

"But all I had was ramen." Naruto asked. "How do you burn soup?"

Tears started to leak from her eyes.

"_Crap she's crying what do I do?"_ Naruto thought. "Um hey your bat thing was awesome."

"Huh?" Lala asked turning around.

"It followed me to the academy and when I was about to fail he snuck in and made some of those holothingys and I passed." Naruto said.

Lala got excited for a second before getting a confused look and asked. "But I thought you wanted to pass by yourself."

Naruto looked nervously side to side. "Um um um."

Lala looked at him as he panicked with the same confused look. It slowly turned to happy and she jumped forward and wrapped her arms around him. She started rubbing her cheek against his and giggling.

"Um Lala why are you hugging me?" Naruto asked nervously.

"You tried to cheer me up. That's so sweet." She said hugging tighter.

Naruto shook it off and started talking about anything he could think of for a diversion. He started babbling about his day. He told her about finding Kou having hitched a ride, his test and then the Mizuki thing.

"Wait she has to steal the "Scroll of Sealing"?" Peke asked.

"Yeah." Naruto replied.

"And is there more than one of these?" Peke asked.

"Nope just one." Naruto said.

"Then how would this test work if more than one person failed?" Peke asked.

Naruto froze. He hadn't thought of that.

"Crap!" Naruto shouted running to his door. He skidded to a stop as he remembered Mizuki was a chuunin and there was no way he could win a fair fight with him. "Lala do you have anything for a fight?"

Lala held finger to her chin and thought for a moment before pulling out her transfer device. A long white tube with a spiral and a grip coming off it appeared. "There this Sticky Gooey Launcher kun."

Naruto grabbed it and ran out the door trying to remember where Mizuki had told the girl from earlier to go. Lala looked up and Peke and followed out the window. Naruto leapt from roof to roof as fast as he could. He had already heard the sound of the search starting and knew he wouldn't have long.

He entered a forested area speeding along towards a small shack with the girl sitting outside with a large scroll. He landed next in front of her and looked around nervously.

"What the?" the girl asked looking up. "Naruto what are you doing here?"

"Mizuki sensei lied to you." Naruto said. "There is no make-up test."

"What are you talking about dumbass?" Asked the black haired girl angrily.

Mizuki, with two massive shurikan strapped to his back, landed in a tree behind them.

"Wha? Damn it I haven't learned anything yet!" Emi yelled out.

"That's okay just give me the scroll and I'll tell them you did fine." Mizuki said. He then turned to Naruto and asked. "Naruto what are you doing here and what's that thing you're carrying?"

"Why did you want to steal the scroll?" Naruto asked pointing.

"What are you talking about?" Mizuki asked smoothly. "I think you're."

"Half the village is hunting the missing scroll." Naruto said. "It was impossible to miss."

Naruto pointed the cylinder at him with a smirk. Mizuki looked nervously at the end of the thing. Emi sat looking back and forth from Naruto to Mizuki.

"_Crap forgot to ask how to use this thing!" _ Naruto thought. Doing his best to keep his cool he asked. "So why'd you do it Mizuki sensei."

Mizuki watched nervous of the unfamiliar thing Naruto was holding. Though he assumed it was a weapon by how the blond was threating him with it. He tried to think of how to get out of it when he just decided to throw caution to the wind.

"Would you two like to know a secret?" Mizuki asked slowly. "One about you Naruto."

"What are you talking about?" Naruto asked.

"The secret about why everyone hates you." Mizuki said.

Naruto's eyes widened and he froze on the spot.

"There's a law that you are not allowed to know about." Mizuki said with malice becoming clearer. "You know about the Kyuubi that attacked the village sixteen years ago."

Naruto nodded dumbly.

"Well the fourth couldn't actually kill it so he had to seal it into a baby." Mizuki said his face now clearly displaying a sneer of contempt.

The girl looked at Naruto already aware of what Mizuki was getting at and staring terrified at the blond. Naruto stared at him with steady horror.

"That baby was you!" Mizuki shouted twirling a giant shurikan. "You're the Nine Tailed Fox!"

Naruto froze completely and stared in shock and horror.

"Die Nine Tails!" Mizuki shouted flinging the shurikan.

The shurikan flew through the air and half way between Naruto and Mizuki a beam descended from the sky and blasted the whirling blade out of the air.

"What the hell?!" Mizuki shouted confused.

Lala landed in front of Naruto glaring at the white haired traitor.

"Who are you?" Mizuki demanded already drawing the second shurikan.

Lala didn't answer she just pointed her tail at him. Mizuki threw the second shurikan at the princess. Lala fired a massive energy blast from the tip of her tail that blew away the shurikan and kept going. Mizuki stared in terror as the blast covered the field in next to no time, faster than he could react at least, and crashed into him sending Mizuki through several trees and left him unconscious in one shot.

"Naruto are you alright?" Lala asked.

When he didn't respond she turned around and saw that he was staring blankly forward. She grabbed his shoulders and shook him slightly.

"Are you okay?" She asked worried.

Naruto didn't respond.

"Naruto? Naruto? Say something." She said panicking.

As this happened a large group of black clad men in white masks and a man in white and red robes landed and looked at the scene. The damage, Naruto's weapon, the pink haired girl looking worried at him, and a black haired girl looking at them terrified.

"This can't be good." Said one of the men.

"Agreed. Clean this up and keep everything confidential unless I say otherwise." The white robed man said and sighed.

* * *

Okay I've decided I'm letting the readers pick part of the Harem for this, I've picked several myself.

Lala obviously is already in, Haruna of to love ru, I wanted at least one normal person, Saki because I never get to use her and have some material I want to use, and Sakura I tried to avoid any Naruto girls but I needed someone that could keep Naruto in check and the only other two options aren't able to show up often enough to work with and no to love ru girls fit, not even Yui.

*Edit Harem decided.*


	3. Chapter 3

I do not own Naruto or to love ru

Okay poll cleared got a harem.

Due to complaints and the vote leading to and reminding me of one girl that could fill the roll I've decided to replace Sakura with someone hopefully less people will have a problem with.

Harem: Lala, Haruna, Saki, Yami, Nana, Momo, Anko, Yui

* * *

Naruto sat in a small room curled up into a ball with Lala sitting next to him looking worried. Emi had been pulled to a different room and Mizuki was in a hospital room under heavy guard until he was well enough to interrogate. Minutes passed slowly the monotonous ticking of the clock making any sound. Eventually the door opened and the old man in a white robe entered the room and looked at Naruto.

"Naruto I've heard what Mizuki told you." The old man said. "I believe it is time we had a talk."

Naruto looked up at him.

"You see the night you were born the Kyuubi no Youko attacked the village. We fought but no human could ever defeat the Kyuubi. So in a last ditch effort to save the village the fourth hokage was forced to seal the fox into a new born baby. That baby was you." The third explained. "In doing so he hoped to make you a hero unfortunately it didn't work as well as he hoped."

Lala looked back and forth and asked. "Um what's this kyuubi thing?"

The old man stared at her. She had been brought in because she had been found with Naruto during the incident and he figured it would do the boy good to have some support. Also no one had been able to break her grip on him which made the alternative a little difficult.

"The Kyuubi is a natural disaster capable of leveling mountains and causing tidal waves with a swipe of one of its tails." The old man explained.

Lala looked at the old man for a second before turning to Naruto and to both their surprise hugged him squealing.

"Um Lala what are you?" Naruto started to ask.

"You're keeping a whole town safe right?" She asked.

"Yes he is." The old man answered before Naruto could say anything.

"That means you're a hero." She said. "So cool."

Naruto for his part was slowly reduced to a blush and stammer. The old man had no idea what was going on but it seemed to be helping so he was grateful enough for it. A squeak caught the groups attention as a small bat like thing landed on Naruto's head.

"You agree Ko chan." Naruto asked chuckling.

Ko chan squeaked its agreement.

"Ko chan?" Lala asked.

Naruto stood stalk still and his head slowly looked down at the confused princess clinging to his chest.

"Err because he looks like a bat so I thought I'd give him a nickname." Naruto said quickly conveniently "forgetting" that he did that because he'd never remember its whole name.

"Oh okay." Lala said and simply went back to her business.

Naruto flashed the bat a thumbs up as the old man once again stared in confusion.

"Well if that's not bothering you." The old man said with a cough. "You may go home."

The duo left on their way back to Naruto's apartment the pink haired princess clinging to Naruto's arm. Naruto was grinning like an idiot as they walked through the streets enjoying the emptiness of the early morning. He was so distracted he didn't even notice that he was being followed by a figure silhouetted by the moon. The duo arrived at his place and Naruto headed right for the bed only taking the time to haphazardly kick off his shoes to somewhere before collapsing on the mattress. Lala lay down next to him as Peke reverted to default form.

Just as the two curled up to go to sleep and Naruto glared at the door and turned back. The knock came again.

"Um shouldn't we get that?" Lala asked.

"They can come back later I need sleep." Naruto said.

Lala looked at the door again before curling up into Naruto's chest and attempting to sleep. The knock came again and after nobody answered this time it stopped. Naruto smiled and a second later the sound of splintering wood disturbed them.

Naruto flipped around and got up to find a white haired man in skeletal armor with one blue and one green eye.

"Ah good you're." the man started.

"What the hell man!" Naruto shouted angrily.

The white haired man flinched.

"You broke my door! Seriously who does that?!" Naruto demanded with a furious glare.

"I'm sorry." The armored man said.

"Oh no sorry doesn't get my security deposit back you better have enough to fix this!" Naruto shouted.

Lala and Peke from the bed simply stared dumb founded. Peke resumed dress form covering Lala from the invader. The man stood up and coughed as Lala came into view.

"Lala sama please come with me your father." He said.

"Don't ignore me you're not going anywhere till I have either a new door or the money for one." Naruto shouted into his ear loud enough to stun him.

"Err Naruto this is my bodyguard Zastin." Lala said.

Naruto glared at him as he stood back up.

Zastin brushed himself off and said. "No Lala sama I've come to take you home your father is worried and you have marriage meetings to attend."

"Ah I'm getting married to Naruto so you can just cancel those." Lala said clinging to the blond's arm.

Naruto stood looking away and rubbing the back of his head. _"Wait a minute did she use?"_

Lala squeezed his arm.

"_Oh god so big and soft. What was I thinking? Oh well couldn't have been that important." _Naruto thought.

Zastin looked at Naruto then Lala and back to Naruto before reaching for something. "I see then I guess I have no choice but to deal with this for the future of the Devilukian Empire."

Naruto stiffened on the spot and turned to Zastin who was now holding a large green blade looking thing.

"_Is it possible for reality to hate?" _Naruto wondered as he reached for the nearest available weapon a table chair.

He ducked a swing from the green blade and swung his chair at his adversary's head. Zastin nimbly evaded the unskilled strike with a piece of furniture. Naruto took advantage of the momentary lapse and bolted for the door hoping to get some room. The last thing he needed was his apartment to be completely wrecked.

He made it about half way before a slash along his back caused him to stumble and trip. He fell forward and rolled to the side getting the skin on one of his arms peeled off by Zastin's blade. He gripped the wound and glared at the white haired solider. Naruto rolled back and jumped to his feet. He grinned as he reached for his back pouch and pulled out a purple sphere he dashed against the ground and released a cloud of smoke.

Naruto grabbed Lala's hand and knocked the swordsman over on the way out the door. He picked Lala up and jumped to the closest roof he could find and ducked down into an alley. Zastin stepped out but for this time things went differently than the duo from the before. Zastin was forced to dodge as two guys in black with white porcelain masks attacked from the sides.

A hand landed on Naruto's shoulder. He jumped and turned to find another guy in the same uniform with a weasel mask.

"So do you by any chance have anything to do with the explosion in the park?" The man asked.

"What incident in the park?" Naruto asked looking away shiftily.

"Hey Ram you owe me fifty ryou." He shouted up to the roof grabbing Naruto by the shoulder.

"Hey until you have proof I'm not paying you one." A voice shouted back from the roof.

Naruto's eyebrow twitched as he listened to the clashing of the battle over head. Naruto drew a kunai and got ready to climb up there and finish his fight. The ANBU tapped his shoulder and shook his head.

"You'll just get in the way wait here." He said before leaping up to the roof in a single bound to aid the rest of his squad.

Naruto was getting more and more irritated if there was one thing he hated it was being underestimated and besides he still owed Zastin for that door. A squeak caught his attention as Ko landed on his shoulder. Naruto looked at the mecha bat for a second before getting a devious grin on his face.

"Ko chan listen." Naruto said and whispered his plan to the small bat thing.

Lala watched as Naruto flipped up the street lights nervous about the blond's well fair.

"Peke take us up." She ordered.

The costume bot obeyed and took the pinkette up above the roof level where Zastin was fighting evenly with three men in uniforms identical except for their masks. Naruto flipped over on top of the roof and charged screaming at the white haired swordsman. The masked men stood shocked at what they saw for a split second but in that time the blond had crossed the roof. Zastin swung his blade which passed harmlessly through Naruto. This insanity was followed by a solid blow to the back of the head.

Zastin was sent rolling as Naruto landed behind him. Zastin tumbled off the roof after a matter of seconds Zastin shot up to the roof. He looked over the whole group and took off. The trio of ANBU took off after him. Lala was about to follow when she heard a sound Naruto shout from below. Down on the ground Naruto waved to her next to a confused looking Zastin.

"Naruto what's going on?" Lala asked landing next to him.

"We're going to one of the training grounds where we can settle this one on one." Naruto said.

"But how did you?" Lala asked looking around.

"Ko chan already had a scan of him." Naruto said thumbing back.

Both of them completely missed Zastin giving a quick look of approval at the blond. Ko chan circled around and landed on Naruto's shoulder with a squeak.

"Okay let's get out of here before they come back looking for you." Naruto said. "I don't want to get interrupted again."

Naruto turned and walked away Zastin following with an intrigued expression. The trio eventually arrived at a clearing in the forests around Konoha that would have appeared completely natural if it wasn't for three man-made training logs in the middle. Naruto stood on one end and Zastin on the holding a kunai and an energy sword respectively.

"Naruto dono perhaps you should rethink this." Peke spoke up.

Naruto nodded and raised his kunai and pointed at his adversary who returned with his sword. A breeze blew and several leaves fluttered by. One hit the ground and the two combatants charged each other. Naruto ducked a swing from the energy blade and thrust a kunai forward which skidded off the side of his opponent's armor and the duo slid past each other. Naruto rolled forward and to the side turning and rising to a crouch as Zastin turned on his heal facing the blond.

Zastin pointed the tip of his sword and thrust at Naruto who raised his kunai trying to block the sword tip of the blade. The energy weapon melted through the steel as pushed in an attempt to parry. Naruto pushed himself away without even budging Zastin. Naruto stood and flung several shurikan at his white haired adversary. Zastin was forced to dodge or take a chest full of molten steel.

Naruto pulled out another kunai and a slip of paper. Zastin moved in quickly as Naruto began wrapping the paper around his kunai. The energy blade swung by his head as he stumbled back and tried to back away but Zastin stuck close. Naruto glared angrily at the swordsman kept a calm expression.

"_Strange Zastin can do better than this easily." _ Peke thought from the side lines.

Naruto kicked up dust at Zastin's face and stepped back Zastin wiped his eyes and took a wild swing the blond. The blade harmlessly passed through Naruto and Zastin narrowed his eyes looking around rapidly.

"You don't expect the same trick to work twice do you?" Zastin asked disappointment clear in his voice.

A kunai flew out of the trees Zastin stepped aside and easily evaded the flying weapon. Naruto formed a half ram seal with one hand and a loud explosion knocked Zastin off his feet as Naruto ran at him. Naruto cocked a fist back and planted the hardest punch he could into Zastin's face. The white hair alien went flying through the air.

Naruto smiled as he watched Zastin crashed into the ground with a large cloud of dust. He could only stare in horror as Zastin simply stood up not even rubbing his nose after Naruto's hardest punch. Zastin walked up and to him completely unfazed by the blow simply slammed a hand down on the blond's shoulder.

"I'm impressed." Zastin said. "Most of the other candidates wouldn't have had the guts to stand up to me."

Naruto stared at him in shock.

"Well it would be a waste to just kill you and the odds of anyone finding out aren't very likely so I suppose I can leave you if you agree to keep quiet about this whole thing." Zastin said.

Naruto went from shock to disbelief.

"Now Lala sama come along." Zastin said.

"Wait a damn minute!" Naruto shouted angrily.

"Huh?" Zastin asked turning.

Another punch sent him flying again. Lala stared in shock as Zastin slowly stood up holding his cheek. Naruto stood over him with a glaring harshly.

"What are you doing?" Zastin asked.

"What are you doing? Can't you see she doesn't want to go back? How would you feel if you were forced into something with being given a choice? Knowing that your opinion holds no sway, being treated like something to trade rather than person." Naruto flipped out. "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

Zastin simply stared at the blond. _"What is? I clearly out class him and he's still picking a fight. He's either very brave or the biggest idiot I've ever met."_

He looked over at the nervous Lala and back to Naruto who was still giving him an icy glare.

"I see to figure out what even I could not." Zastin said with a smile and streams of tears.

Naruto hopped back on one foot as Zastin stood up.

"I'll go back and tell the king about the princess decision." Zastin said.

Lala smiled and lunged at Naruto only to miss completely. She stumbled and got her bearings looking around to see Naruto a few steps ahead a hand on Zastin's shoulder.

"Don't think I forgot about what you did to my door." Naruto said annoyed.

A hand rested on his shoulder. "And don't think you can just trick the ANBU."

Naruto and Zastin froze simultaneously turning their heads eyes wide with fear. The ANBU team was standing right behind them.

They turned to each other and said simultaneously. "Damn it."


End file.
